The Man is on the west coast for some business training. I had to talk him into going because he doesn't really like to travel but is always glad he goes to these things. This is a convo we had by text. (All The Man typos were totally him. I'm a great speeler.)
The Man - Thanks for being such a bizatch of a girlfriend and making me come out here. I'm am going to full on crush the Portland market like a straving Rottie after a porkchop!
Me - Whoop whoop! I need monies! I checked to see how much to get Stinky's teeth cleaned under sedation. From $400-$650! I was like, WTF? So instead I'm just going to slip him an Oxy and scrape any shit off with a kitchen knife...
TM - Do eeet!
Me - I have to wait until you get home. I wouldn't know where to get Oxys. You have people though... Right...? You're like popular and shit, right? At least you're cute. You could totally get some desperate bitch to buy some for you. I can't do anything on my own. =(
TM - Inorite!? Just give him some scotch bunzz.
Please don't call Doggie Social Services on us. We were only kidding. (Or were we?)
Yes. We totally were. (I think.)