Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Stinky, Sweaty, Yay!

Hey Hot Weather. What's up?

It's currently 91 degrees.

It's May.


On a side note, the first Boston Terrier play group of the area is meeting this evening for fun at the doggie park. I'm wicked excited! Hopefully I'll have some cute pics. =)

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Why The Man And I Will Probably Have Our Dogs Taken Away At Some Point

The Man is on the west coast for some business training. I had to talk him into going because he doesn't really like to travel but is always glad he goes to these things. This is a convo we had by text. (All The Man typos were totally him. I'm a great speeler.)

The Man - Thanks for being such a bizatch of a girlfriend and making me come out here. I'm am going to full on crush the Portland market like a straving Rottie after a porkchop!

Me - Whoop whoop! I need monies! I checked to see how much to get Stinky's teeth cleaned under sedation. From $400-$650! I was like, WTF? So instead I'm just going to slip him an Oxy and scrape any shit off with a kitchen knife...

TM - Do eeet!

Me - I have to wait until you get home. I wouldn't know where to get Oxys. You have people though... Right...? You're like popular and shit, right? At least you're cute. You could totally get some desperate bitch to buy some for you. I can't do anything on my own. =(

TM - Inorite!? Just give him some scotch bunzz.

Please don't call Doggie Social Services on us. We were only kidding. (Or were we?)

Yes. We totally were. (I think.)

My Man Crushes

The Man is out of town until tomorrow night. Midnight tomorrow night. Which means since he'll be all tired and jet-lagged and has to WORK on Saturday (like a stupid head) that I'm not getting any until at least Monday. **Insert Frowny Face Here**

Somehow through thinking of all this I started thinking about my celebrity man crushes. And then I was all like, "Hey! I should do a blog with pictures of all my favorite sexiness!"

I don't know why.

Don't even bother asking.

In no particular order...

Richard Gere

Jason Lee

Ewan McGregor

Cesar Millan (He's already cute, but any man with dogs is automatically 97% hotter)

George Clooney

and of course


I've threatened The Man that his first born son is going to be named Denzel Washington (The Mans last name). Yep.

Oh Denzel!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Good Thing They're Cute

Oh my wonderful balls of fluff...

I had to bring the pups to the vet this morning. Stinky needed a heartworm test so I can restart their meds. Since it's so freakin' cold here in the winter and all the bugs die, I don't keep them on the heartworm and flea and tick meds throughout the winter. That shit is EXPENSIVE. But every spring I get them tested before restarting just in case.

So anyway. He got his blood drawn and it all came back negative. Sweet. Then I asked if they had a quick minute to check Little Girl's butt. All dogs have anal glands that usually empty when they poo. Yet another way for them to be all like, "This land be MINE YO!". Anyway, some breeds have trouble getting their icky fluid out sometimes and Bostons are definitely known for it. Both Stinky and Little Girl have been squeezed since I've had them. I figured since we were already at the vet and she had been doing the oh so attractive butt-scoot that I'd get them to do a quick squeeze.

So of course, for some reason, Little Girl's glands are swollen and one was very difficult to express. The vet put her on prednisone to hopefully bring down the swelling. They also suggest she gets a bit more fiber in her diet. Giving her things such as broccoli, carrots and pumpkin can really sometimes help.

The vet also noticed how itchy the little beast is. She thinks she has allergies but we're not sure if they're environmental or food related. We're trying a medicated shampoo first. Which means that I now get to bathe Little Girl 2-3 times a week. Score! Like I have nothing better to do. Luckily she's a petite pup so the $20 (!) bottle of shampoo should last awhile. If that doesn't work I get to start the adventure of trying different dog foods. I'm sure she'll need the most expensive food out there...

Oh well. She's worth it.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I Think She Can, I Think She CAN!

The Man is out of town. PARTAY TIME!



Gonna try the online list again. I'm picking The Man up at midnight on Friday. Let's see if I can get my cleaning and organizing on!

1) Put away the laundry that's been folded and sitting in baskets for days.

2) Iron ALL of The Man's clean shirts. The ones hanging in the spare room AND the ones piled on the rocker.

3) Wash the dog bed that Little Girl decided to whiz on at The Shop.

4) Take care of the recycling including all of the cardboard The Man strew all over the front room.

5) Sweep and mop the kitchen, hallway and bathroom.

6) Vacuum the living room.

7) Wash the bathroom rugs and the shower curtain.

8) Gather up all of the papers and mail that The Man's strewn all over the living room. Figure out where the hell to put them all.

So that's what I'm aiming for... I have three days. Granted I'm at The Shop 11am-6pm but there's still the mornings and evenings. I CAN DO THIS! =)

Update: It's Friday afternoon. I've only completed two of the eight tasks on my list. Yay procrastination! (Although I did go to the grocery store this morning which I should have put on the list so that I could scratch it out. I love scratching them out! Did that sound wrong?) Anyway, I got a text saying The Man might miss his connector because the first flight had to be diverted because of bad weather in the mid-west. (FU mid-west). But even if he catches it, I have at least 5 hours this evening to accomplish things. I'm gonna fuckin' do it ya'll.

Monday, May 17, 2010

WARNING: Excessive Hormones Ahead

I have become a raging bundle of Oh-My-Goodness-I'm-Getting-So-Old-I-Need-To-Have-Babies-Like-Totally-Right-Now...

Le sigh.

I'm only 26 and I feel the biological clock like NO BODY'S business. I'm the oldest in two generations that's gone without having a kid. My father was only 19 when I was born! I wasn't about to do the whole teenage pregnancy thing (I realized how not cool that was when my sister was born when I was 12 and my brother when I was 16) but I thought I'd have at least a two year old by the time I hit 26. Frick. It's been even worse now that I'm with a guy I actually LIKE.

Speaking of him. I had never thought that I'd actually want a wedding before I met him. I wanted to get married per sey, but I never wanted the actual wedding ceremony. I still don't want a traditional wedding but we would have one KICK ASS rockabilly shin-dig!

My wedding porn; Offbeat Bride. Don't go there if you don't want to ever get married. It will convince you that you can do whatever you want for your day. And it will be fabulous!

But yeah. Babies. Little snuggly, pukey, poopy, crying bundles of awesome.

Offbeat Brides sister site; Offbeat Mama.

The only thing that keeps me from stealing a child off the street...

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Happy Dance Time!


So apparently I CAN catch a break! My cars break down the other day was due to an air hose popping off. My mechanic's awesome and isn't charging us!

Whoop whoop!

And I'll Get Discount Pup Care!

When I was younger I always wanted to be a veterinarian. Unfortunately I had issues with my financial aid after my first year of college. One thing led to another and I never went back for my degree. I have a certificate in Surgical Technology but that was SO not the job for me.

I decided today that I want to try to become a veterinary tech. The closest program that I can find is an hour away from me. It's unfortunately out of state so it's a bit on the expensive side. I was talking to a friend of mine on the west coast who is a vet tech and said that some places that will do experience-trained techs; basically on the job training. With my background in surgical tech I'm hoping I can find someone to take me on in that way...

Stay tuned for Gem's Veterinary Adventures!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

It's Officially Gem-Can't-Catch-A-Break Year

I was starting to think that things were looking up. Instead, one step forward, two steps back.

We got The Man's car back from the shop this morning. I was excited because that meant that even if he was still working I could still go to the get-together this evening with my family. After we got his car I ran to the pet store to grab some foods for the fuzzies. On the way back I hopped on the highway to get to The Shop a little faster. About 10 miles from my exit my car started acting funny. It started jerking a little bit and having trouble accelerating. It got to the point where I'd have to floor it to get it to accelerate. My MPG went from around 23 to 8. As I was getting off the highway I noticed black smoke coming out the back of my car when I was on the gas. The acceleration problems started getting more severe. Finally, about 3-4 miles from The Shop, my car broke down completely. I was thankfully able to get it off the main road. I called and told The Man. He's working but will be able to get to it at some point this afternoon to call AAA. I tried calling a couple of people I knew for a lift to the shop but they either didn't answer or had their others using their vehicles. So Little Girl and I got to walk to The Shop. Did I mention that it's gotten cold again? Oh yeah, and it's raining. Of freakin' course.

So I'm about to give up on making it to see my family tonight. And my grandmother's going to be there! She lives almost 2 hours away from my folks, who live about an hour and 15 from me.


Friday, May 7, 2010

Do They Have Doggie Welfare?

Guess who's significant others car is making scary clunking noises and is now in the shop? Aw cheah, this girl right here.

The Man hit a bump or something last night and his car is making too many nasty grind-y noises for him to drive it today (or tomorrow or the next day, maybe we'll get it back Monday?). That means since he has to work he's apprehended my car from me. =(

Text from The Man : "I like this car. U don't get back.
Text from Moi : "Noooooooooooooooooooo (and continuing on for the whole 160 character message)
He that is Him : "."
Me : "OH, my tax check is on the center console thing. Help a sistah out and tuck it in the glove compartment for me plz?"
He : "No. Cashed already. I'm at the bar."
Me : "**Sob** You damn drunk! That money was to feed the babies (i.e. dogs)! What am I going to do? Guess I'll finally go fill out that Welfare application. =("
He : "Sorry, to dkrun to read."

Yep. We're classy.

But really, this whole one car thing blows. Of course it had to happen this weekend. My younger sister is turning 14 next Wednesday. The family is having a joint Birthday/Mother's Day dinner tomorrow night an hour away from here. The Man is going to have to use my car for work tomorrow so I'll miss the dinner (at a great restaurant...). I have a call in to my step-mom to see if something is going on after at someone's house. Hopefully I can get to that. =/

When will I catch a break?

Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Worst Good News I Could Have Gotten

About an hour ago I called to dr's office to check on my thyroid results since I hadn't heard anything yet. Of course they came back as normal. I almost burst into tears on the phone with the nurse. I was so counting on my thyroid being off, getting my meds adjusted and starting to feel human again. I told the nurse that I had been feeling like it was off and now she wants me to come in to the office to talk to the doctor. There are other things that can make me feel as crappy, she said. Vitamin D maybe? I have a feeling that he'll bring up fibromyalgia again. I'm almost ready to try the anti-depressants. I just want to feel awake. I want to stop feeling like I'm in pain all the time. I want to have enough energy to even freakin' vacuum my living room.

The Man and I had a fight about money this morning. That makes me even more upset about going home and telling him that my thyroid's fine and the doctor wants to see me. We don't have the money for that and it's going to stress him out more which will in turn stress me out more. Of course.

All I want to do right now is close up The Shop, go home and curl up with the sheets over my head. I want to not deal with responsibility for like, at least a week. No dogs, no making dinner, no laundry, no Shop. Geeze. How immature am I being?

It's not like I'm just looking for an easy way out. It's hard to explain how I feel all the time. I wake up in the morning already tired. My whole body aches. My hands and feet almost always feel like I'm wearing gloves and shoes that are a half a size too small. I hurt and that makes me cranky. I have a short fuse more times than not. I get irritated and yell at freakin' inanimate objects for heavens sake!


So much for Thankful freakin' Thursday. Doesn't exist this week. Oh, and to top off my marvelous day, we lost the power at the house this morning. It better be back on by the time I get home or I may just have a breakdown.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


I'm starting to finally recover over my **Cough*Cough*Hack*Wheeze** cold that I've been suffering for the past few days. It hasn't helped that I've been going to bed ENTIRELY too late lately. I figured out that I need to go to bed at about 9pm to get a full nights sleep... That is so unrealistic that I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The Man hasn't been getting home from work until at least 8:30 lately. And I'm all like, "HEY! You're home! I like you and I like that you're home! Lets snuggle and watch multiple hours of True Blood on HBO On Demand!" (We're watching the season 1 finale tonight then starting season 2. Good times!)

But yeah, he gets home late because spring time = SUPER CRAZY BUSY TIME in Newer Business. That extends into the summer which is when The Shop hits SUPER CRAZY BUSY TIME. You know, essentially 14 hour days for approximately 6-10 weeks. That doesn't seem like a long time when you think that there are 52 weeks in the year but yeah... 7 days a week for up to 10 WEEKS STRAIGHT I will need to be in or around The Shop for around 14 hours a day. It gets so crazy that you get numb and just want the tourists to stop trying to hand you money so you can just SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP. (If I could only train the tourist to get what they want, write up receipts and take the correct change WHILE I sleep... Hmm...)

Right now is Get Ready Time. Stuff is starting to come out of storage, new displays are being set up (which we're having to find room for) and plans of attack are being written up (what to order and when because The Shop has verrrrrry little reserves left over from this past winter). This is when The Man is most needed at The Shop and of course, he can't really be available because Newer Business has exploded. And Newer Business is what REALLY makes the money. And Newer Business will hopefully be able to support us super comfortably within the next 5-10 years without having The Man even have to participate daily. But that means he has to work his buns off on that business now and I have to try to get The Shop up and running basically alone.

Did I ever mention that in all of the history of me that I'd never worked in retail before? Nope. I worked at a horse barn, a dog kennel, a sub shop, a convenience store and an operating room. Yep. I used to assist in cutting open folks. That was the job I had when I met The Man. I was making decent money but I was miserable. I did love the actual cases. There's some fascinating shite that those crazy Dr's can do but man oh man it's tough. Tough physically and sometimes mentally. Nothing like trying to put a suicide patient back together or having to treat a man who had been taken down by the police for hurting others. ANYway. That's how I found myself at The Shop. The Man wanted to take care of me. I wish that meant that I could just sit back and eat bon bons but alas... I'm now running a store (clueless), a home (have a clue but not a lot of drive) and kinda a family (built in kids/grandkids can be fuuuuuun).

Now that I think about it... I think this new life may be more stressful and demanding than the old one! If I hadn't hated it SO much I might think about going and getting a "real" job again. But then I wouldn't be able to spend the day with my mutts. And the house would be in even more of a mess. And The Man and I wouldn't be able to just pick up and take off for the day if we wanted to. We don't often, but dammit, we COULD if we wanted to. So I guess I'll try to lay off the bitchin' and I'll try not to moan about turning into a zombie for the summer. Hey at least there's a bar easy stumbling distance from the shop! And I get to hang out with these two...

There's mah babies! Stinky and Little Girl chillaxin' at The Shop.

SPEAKING OF ME BEING CRAZY BUSY AND INSANE. So I adopted Stinky and Little Girl from a Boston Terrier rescue. When I was looking for Little Girl I was doing a lot of petfinder searching. There was one 8 year old boy who caught my attention. He has cushings disease and no one wants him. =( Of course that means that now I do. I've been working on The Man. "What's the difference between two dogs and three? It's just a bit more food and a bit more poo!" I've been in contact with the new one's foster mom. He's a couple states away but I still want to try to meet him. If I can get a picture of Stinky, Little Girl and the new boy all playing and enjoying themselves together The Man CAN'T say no. (He's kinda a sucker like that).

Are there any meds to get the adoption bug to stop frikkin' itchin'?

I just read back over my post and holy cow, ADD much? I'm gonna knock this off before it gets worse. Or someone get's hurt.