Whoa

Kinda forgot about this. Haven't been on here fo-evah-evah.

SO MUCH HAS CHANGED.

I would write more but I'm a real workin' woman now (not running The Shop anymore, tho The Man and I are still together) and I was up at 5:30 this morning...

*Sarcasm* Joy /*Sarcasm*

I've been open for the past two hours. No one has even walked in to browse the entire time. I get up to go to the restroom and a family of eight walk in.

I have a feeling this is how my whole day is going to go.

How Do They Do It In Canada?

I love my Quebecois customers. Well, most of them. They're the people who are always asking for a discount. On $10 items. But I've recently had a rash of Quebec'ers who hold up two items and ask, "What's the difference of these?"

The answer is always one of two...

"One is bigger than the other."

"One is better quality than the other."

Which makes me wonder how they price items in Canada?

This is my life right now...

In past posts I've never really said what we sell at The Shop. For this I'm going to have to so you can understand the sheer STUPIDITY I deal with on a regular basis. I hate working retail and if it wasn't for The Man and it being his shop, I would never be doing this. But it's for my family and I'll continue for as long as need be.

Anyway. The Shop is a higher end surf shop. We also sell skateboards, long and short, guitars and ukuleles. Also a LOT of beach-y crap just to pay the bills.)

This is what I deal with on a daily basis...

"I'm going to go hang out on the beach. What do I need? Do people buy chairs? Umbrellas?"

Same guy, "How do these umbrellas work? I just stick it in the sand?"

"There's no surf here!" (Idiot. I surf all the time.)

"The other person yesterday told me this surfboard was a hundred dollars cheaper." (I'm the only one there Monday through Friday. This was said on a Thursday.)

"Is it hard to surf?"

"Is it hard to skateboard?"

"Is it hard to play guitar?"

"Is it hard to play ukulele?"

"Is it hard to boogie board?" (I swear someone asked me this. FOUR YEAR OLDS BOOGIE BOARD.)

A guy RUNS into The Shop, RUNS up to me behind the counter and practically shouts, "DO YOU HAVE FLIP FLOPS!?" Stunned, I just point literally two feet behind him to our giant rack of flops he just passed by.

"Are these Oakleys rip offs?"

"Are these Reef Brazils rip offs?" (And even if they were, which they're NOT, we're official dealers, who would answer, "Yep."?)

"Is your dog dangerous?" (Would I have her hanging out in here where babies wander around if my 16 lb Boston Terrier was dangerous?)

While looking straight at my CASH ONLY sign. "Do you take credit cards? No? What about debit cards then?"

"Cash only!? You can't run a business like that!" (Oh yeah? We've been in business since 1987. What do you have to say about that, Slick?)

"Is this your best price?"

"Since I'm paying cash, I don't have to pay the taxes, right?"

"If I buy two of these I'll get a deal, right?" (Usually said when trying to buy two $5 beach toys. Come back and talk to me about getting a deal when you want to buy two $1000 surfboards.)

"These are outrageously expensive!" (Said about above mentioned surfboards. They're hand made in America. Want cheap? Check out some Chinese made shit elsewhere.)

"I can't believe how cold the water is!" (You're in Maine. Put on a wetsuit.)

"This tag says $52 but will you take $20 if I buy it right now?"

"This surfboard says $799 but I'll give you $500 CASH in your HAND right NOW." And usually then he looks all proud of himself. Can't understand when I say, "Nope."

Most of the time I pretend I have no power to change prices and oh bummer, I can't call the owner right now. Or I'll "text" him and oh bummer, he's not replying. Guess that means 'no' to your incredible deal. How will I continue to live?

Why does a Mom & Pop store that actually has to make money to survive bring out everyone's inner bargainer? I'm not running a Bazaar. Just because the price tag is hand written doesn't mean it's negotiable. Do you haggle over your can of peas with the Wal-Mart cashier?

BUGGER OFF.

He Helps?

Dear The Man,

It's been a month since you've gotten rid of your office in town and starting working out of the house. I appreciate that you want to try to help out more since you're home all the time... But uhm... Yeah. It's really not working for me.

You've started trying to do some of the laundry. I really don't mind doing the laundry, but if it's something you think you can handle...

Did you know that doing the laundry is not just putting dirty clothes into the washer, moving the wet clothes into the dryer and then plopping the entire load unfolded onto the spare bed?

Oh, and the dryer? Throw a sheet in there once in awhile.

When I do the wash, I throw in both of our clothes. I don't go in the hamper and pick out my tee-shirts, socks and undies. I throw yours in there too.

OH. And my nice bras? They don't go in the wash! I'll hand wash them later. The more you mangle them, the more you'll have to buy me. =P

The kitchen. **Sigh**

Have you seen that we have both a trash can AND a recycle bin? Garbage goes in the trash can and recycling (newspapers, magazines, cereal boxes, glass jars, aluminum cans) goes INTO the recycling bin. It's just more work for me when you bring over some stuff for recycling and put it on the floor next to the bin. What is that even about?

Did you know that toast crumbs can be swept into your hand and put in the trash can?

Cereal bowls should be moved from your desk into the kitchen sink.

CDs can be put back in their cases. I KNOW. Amazing.

And lastly, when I get home from The Shop... The dogs ARE going to bark. They're excited. They haven't hung out together all day. I WILL make noise in the kitchen when I'm making dinner. I WILL sometimes open a bottle of wine before you're officially done working.

Need that quiet environment? Go back to town.

LOVE YOU! -Gem-

Because I So Want To Pack All Our Shit And Move

Update on The Burrow.

We put in offer. They counter-offered. We counter-counter(?)-offered. Also threw in The Man's Harley Davidson as part of the down payment. O_O

SELL US YOUR HOUSE ALREADY PEOPLE.

**Crossed Fingers**

Still in negotiations on The Burrow. That would be the ultimate present though, because...

Today is our three year anniversary! Yay us! Sometimes I didn't feel like we would make it even to here and other times I can't imagine the rest of my life without him.

I got him some fancy, pretty, gold art deco cuff links as a present. Ooo la la!